Thursday, December 23, 2010

I can't believe Christmas is almost here. It seems like yesterday I started this journey and I look back and see it was in April!! Time flies when your having fun! LOL

Chemo yesterday brought some new changes. Besides the IV they will also be giving me two injections. The serum is pretty thick so I get them in both in the butt. It takes about 2 minutes for each to be injected - not fun! Hurts a little but is bearable.

Looks like I'll have a CAT Scan the beginning of January to see the progress of the chemo. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hoping yesterdays treatments won't take their toll later this week and Christmas I will be full of energy.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers, love and support! I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy and HEALTHY New Year!!!

Friday, December 3, 2010

A lot has happened since my last post. It all started the weekend of Nov 20. You know how you just don't feel right but you can't put you finger on it? Well, we had a family holiday party Saturday evening which I went to and just didn't feel like myself. Got through it but the next day was a bust. Mostly sat around resting. Monday got up as usual and started the work week. By noon I thought I had the stomach flu and by 2PM I was sure of it so I headed home to take a nap. When I woke up from the nap I knew it wasn't the flu since I had that telltale backache that screamed GALLBLADDER!!! Contacted my doctor and we were on the way to the hospital ER. Of course it was packed with those in my opinion were using it as a warm place to sit and watch TV. So we sat and played the waiting game. Poor Mark had to stand next to me since there were no seats. All of a sudden I turned to him and said you better ask them for something because I'm going to throw up. Well he no sooner got me a basin when I started vomiting. Want to see a lot of people move quickly - start throwing up. I of course turned to Mark and said "see, I got you a seat". Two minutes later they had a wheel chair and were bringing me into a room in the ER (note to self: good way to get a head of the line). Then started the fun of getting in an IV. I laid there for almost 4 hours while they screwed around trying to get one started. This is so frustrating to me why a hospital does not have trained people to put IV's in patients. Once they finally got one in it was off for a CAT scan which showed inflammation of my pancreas. Attending Doc noticed I also looked a little yellow (must be all the time I've spent in China) and decided I needed to be admitted much to my dismay. So about 4AM I finally was brought up to a room. Doc's started to flow in about 7AM evaluating me and deciding what to do. While they were powwowing a volunteer came in and asked if we needed anything. After saying no 3 times she decided it was too bright in the room and proceeded to turn down the lights. Unfortunately as she backed away from the bed she got tangles in my IV line and pulled it. It still showed it was still in but I had a bad feeling. I fell asleep and about an hour later I woke up to my arm and hand swollen from the fluid going under my skin. Nurse came in immediately and removed it giving my arm a rest for a few hours to let it go down (did I mention they had to use ultrasound to get the IV in my arm in the first place). Next thing I know the nurse comes in and wants to try putting in a new line because I had a "test". She couldn't get it so they sent me down without one saying I didn't need one for the test. When I got down they were all upset because of course you need one - we are putting you asleep for this surgical procedure" - HUH???? What surgical procedure - I'm down here for a test??? (HELP) So I had a discussion with the anesthesiologist and then the doctor who was performing the procedure. They had me until they disclosed all the risks including possible death. So I'm laying down there thinking no one knows I'm here having this done and I don't have a phone to let Mark know. Well, the procedure thankfully went well. They found the main bile duct between the gallbladder and pancreas was blocked and infected and they had to go in and clean it out (with a roto-router???). Next step is to talk to a surgeon on Dec 14 to see if I'm a candidate to have my gallbladder removed since it seems to be the root of all this evil.

The doctors finally agreed (after much badgering) to release me just in time for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately I was on a clear liquid diet and not able to enjoy and food that day. Little by little the soreness is easing and I'm getting back to normal.

As soon as I get more new I'll let you know. Until then enjoy the holiday season.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Not much has happened in the last week. Blood work came back good including potassium this week. I've been concentrating on eating food containing potassium including orange juice, pineapple, baked potato's, Progresso Chicken soup (has tons of K due to using potassium chloride as a salt), etc. I am tired of eating bananas so I'm trying to get more creative in things to eat.

Yesterdays chemo was another fun day. Requested Susan since she still seems to be the only one who could get my IV started. Waited 1.5 hours to be called and told someone else would get my IV started and start my Zometa (bone strengthener) until Susan was freed up. DUH!!!! If someone else starts my IV I really don't need Susan and I waited 1.5 hours for nothing! As you could imagine this brought out the "sweetness" in my personality - NOT! So the new nurse tried to find a vein until she gave up (thankfully she had enough sense not to try to stick me with needles knowing she couldn't find a vein) and went and found Susan. Susan laughed when she came in to the room and said she told them the same thing I thought - "If you get her IV started she doesn't need me!" So now almost 2 hours of sitting before they started treatments. Just another day in ......... (you fill in the blank).

Otherwise everything else is going well. Just tired as usual and frustrated that I can't do anything once I get home in the evening. Hopefully this weekend I could take a stab at trying to clean the house one room at a time. It may take all day to do the living-room but I'm bound and determined to do it.

Until next week - keep warm and healthy!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Sorry for not checking in for a while. CAT scan was last week and although the news wasn't bad, it wasn't what I wanted to hear. NO CHANGE. Believe me - I am looking at this as a positive but I'm a little down since it means chemo continues for another 12 weeks. As my cousin Carol pointed out this brings it to right before my birthday and would make for a great present if the next CAT scan showed continued shrinking. In the mean time I continue to trek to the hospital every Wednesday for treatments.

Potassium level seems to be hanging in there and normal. I've been drinking a lot of orange juice which I'm guessing is helping. Chemo does strange things to your body. I'm sure it's because it brings your immune system way in way down so your susceptible to infections. I ended up with a bladder infection and an open sore on my tailbone. Doctor did a swab on the sore to make sure it wasn't anything exotic but everything came out OK. So pills and cream to clear up both infections.

I did learn last week (after 6 months no less) that you can request a certain nurse in chemo. So Susan will be my choice from now on since even in those rare times she doesn't get the IV in first time, it doesn't seem to hurt when she does it.

Tomorrow starts week 1 of the next 12 weeks. Hopefully it will be uneventful and I'll fly right through it.

Until there is more to report I wish you all good health!

Monday, November 1, 2010

CAT scan Wednesday to see if chemo is working. Keep your fingers crossed!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Not much to report. Last weeks chemo went well. Back up to both chemo's (Hercepton and Abraxine). Only problem involved putting in the IV. I just don't understand how one nurse can get it in with no problem and another has to stick me 2-3 times before giving up and having that nurse take over. Today I am going to request the nurse who doesn't mutilate my arm and see what they say. I've always taken who they have given me but after last week I think I need to be more assertive.

I was concerned last week that my potassium level was dropping again. Checked with doctor but she didn't want me taking the potassium pills - just eat more potassium enriched food. So I spent a week eating banana's, drinking orange juice, eating chicken, chicken soup, watermelon, etc. Today's test results show levels back to normal so I really need to keep after it.

Next battle is my legs from below my knees down. From looking at it you wouldn't know that they are full of fluid and as hard as a rock. Trying natural diuretics (cranberry juice, watermelon, tomato's, etc.) to see if it helps. Big thanks to good friend Karen who is a massage therapist and came over last night to give me a treatment. Legs feeling a lot better this morning. Not as jumpy and skin doesn't feel like its ready to split.

Special thanks to Carol Riedesel who nominated me in the Chicago SunTimes newspapers contest "Stories of Courage". Carols essay won me a beautiful Hermes scarf.

Next week Wednesday I am scheduled for a CAT scan to see if the new chemo regiment is working. A little nervous so keep me in your thoughts.

Off to chemo is a few hours. More (hopefully good) news next week.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Not much to report this week. White count and potassium level back to normal. Yesterday was a BAD day. No energy, chills and tired. Those are the days I plan my funeral in my head..... Better today after some good rest. Appetite still not good and having trouble figuring out what will go down. The past few days its been watermelon.

All and all I can't complain....I did wake up this morning!

Til next week - I hope you are all happy and healthy! ;-)

Monday, October 11, 2010

Hope you all are doing well. In regards to last weeks posting - did I mention that I had stated that it was my gallbladder???? Message to Physicians - if you want us to communicate with you and advise you of all our symptoms, etc then LISTEN TO YOUR PATIENTS!!! We know our bodies as well as you do.

After getting out last weekend it has taken me a while to get back to semi-normal. Had my blood test on Tuesday only to find that my Potassium level had dropped to a very low level. Of course since I had the test done outside the hospital they had me come in Wednesday early for another test. SURPRISE - same results. Because low potassium can really screw up your heart my doc ordered an EKG. Sure enough it showed some flattening of one of the bands which she was not happy with so after chemo I was admitted into the hospital for massive doses of Potassium via an IV. You would think it would be simple - not so. If run too fast and not mixed with Saline, Potassium burns like hell going in you veins and can induce a heart attack. Half way through the IV (which takes 4+ hours) the IV machine goes off and the nurse comes in and re-starts it. About 10 minutes into it I knew something was wrong. A terrible burning and my arm felt like it was in a vice grip. Now I can tolerate pain pretty well but this HURT. By the time the nurse came in I was almost in tears it hurt so bad. The problem was that the nurse who came in and re-programmed the machine didn't re-start it properly and I had straight potassium running into me. Problem with this is that it burns like hell and could have given me a heart attack. Just another reason to always have someone with you at the hospital. All kidding aside this was a very serious situation which could have caused problems down the road.

Besides that all has been well. Trying to get back my strength and move forward.

Hoping this weeks treatment will be uneventful!

Saturday,October 2

I promise never to complain again! After this week I found out things can get worse. Started off with no chemo - body needed a rest. Then what started off as a relaxing weekend took a nose dive. Spent the day in Michigan and didn't feel 100% which was disappointing since I thought it was going to be a great weekend with no treatment. WRONG!!!! Woke up at 2AM in a small po-dunk town in severe pain - it was my gallbladder. So we had to find a hospital and FAST! Found hospital and got there (I think they had 3 rooms) and announced "I'm having a gallbladder attack". Now those who have had one knows what I'm talking about. They of course being ""medical experts" knew better. Now you all know my writing so you know where I'm headed... After a CAT scan they found I indeed WAS NOT having a gallbladder attack. So they gave me some drugs once the pain subsided and sent us on our way. Back about 6AM to catch some sleep. Woke up about 9AM again in pain and told Mark we better start back. By the time we were home the meds they gave me were not working. So I called my doc and tried to get her to give me something stronger. No luck - on our way to U of C Med Center. Four hours later (don't get me started although kuddos to the ER staff who kept me from the general population) I'm in ER Isolation very sick. Truthfully I don't remember much but Mark filled me in on what I missed. I had 4 different docs who were split that it was gallbladder or lung infection. Oh, did I mention that they did another CAT scan and found stone and inflamed gallbladder 18 hours after the one in MI and it took 2 MD's, 2 hours and an ultrasound to put in an IV in my arm? Another funny...I get to the CAT scan and they asked if I ever had one before. I say yes, about 18 hours ago of which they say "you cant have another one so soon!!!! After several phone calls I was cleared but they knew I had one and even brought the report with me. I had surgeons talking to us about surgery but things changed hourly. Monday - what I remember was hell. My temperature went over 102 degrees. All I remember is them keep changing my gown and sheets because I was soaked. It wasn't until after 7PM Monday that they stabilized me enough to move me in a private isolation room. It wasn't until Wednesday night that I was able to actually talk and felt like I was getting better. Turns out I did have a gallbladder attack but I also had a bacterial infection which was causing me all the problems. So after 7 days of intensive antibiotics, injections and blood draws my arm is all black and blue.

Thanks to Mark who never left my side, Sister-in-law Cindy who came to give Mark food breaks and all my friend's and family who called and emailed with messages. I'm sorry I wasn't available but could hardly talk. Special thanks to friends at Designcraft who covered for me and sent their love and support. You remain my rock and I love you all.

Too tired to go on...more details when I get some rest.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I'm tired, my face is so dry it's driving me crazy, I don't feel like eating and I have blisters all over.


THIS IS NO FUN!

Monday, Spetember 13, 2010

This is no fun! Had second of new treatments on Wednesday. Treatment itself was uneventful although it took two tries to get in the IV. My arm looks like someone beat me. My body is trying to adjust to this new chemo routine but just like the first of the last treatments my skin it terribly dry, my legs are swelling and my face is breaking out. I have no appetite at all and nothing even looks tempting to eat. I'm hoping like the last 17 weeks once I get a few treatments down my body will start to adjust to them. For now, I'm tired and just want to get through the days and go home and sleep.

Sorry I can't be more entertaining - it's a bad day! Hopefully next week will be better.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Although I was confident the Brain MRI would not show much I confess I was still a little nervous. My doctor called me Tuesday afternoon to tell me that it showed that the lesion was almost non-existent -gone!!! What a relief!!! My gut told me that since after radiation is showed shrinking and all the chemo it had to be good news but I've been around long enough to know as soon as you get you guard down it hits you right between the eyes!

Started 12 weeks of the new chemo on Wednesday. A double dose of Abraxine (Taxol 2nd generation) and Hercepton. Got a great nurse once again and the IV was in right away. These chemo's do not require pre-meds so no Benedryl or Dexadura. No problem during the infusion or that evening. However, Thursday was a different story. My usual full of energy, get things done Thursday took a nose dive...... It was a rough day to get through. Tired (even took a nap at lunch), achy and just didn't feel right. I ended up calling it a day and going home around 3:30. Once home I sat on the sofa and just tried to relax. My two baby girls KiKi and Zoey sensing mom wasn't feeling good cuddled up to me and took a nap. I had no appetite and ended up eating a juice bar for dinner. By 8:00 I sensed something just wasn't right. Turned out I had a 101.2 fever by then. Since it was a side effect of the chemo I didn't panic and just kept hydrating. By 9:00 I decided to just sleep it off and went to bed. Woke up this morning with no fever but still a little "off". As the day has gone by its gotten better so I'm ready for the weekend! I expect it will take a few weeks for my body to adjust to this new chemo and then everything will be back to normal. I'm hoping the next 11 weeks will be uneventful.

Hope you all have a great holiday weekend.

Friday, August 27, 2010

It was a week of nervous jitters as you could imagine. Wednesday couldn't come fast enough. It was test result time. I was expecting the best but preparing for the worst. Well, it was a mixed bag. Liver and Lung lesions have shrunk!!!! They did find a small lesion on my bowel but I suspect it was there and missed on last CAT. My reasoning is that with all the chemo and how the soft tissue (lung and liver) lesions have shrunk I can't see a new one popping up. My lympth nodes also came back clean which is a good sign. However, the bone lesions in my spine and ribs have grown but at a small rate. They also found a spot on my left femur. We forgot to get a scan on my brain so I was at the hospital this morning for a MRI and am hoping it turns out good. Last CAT scan after radiation showed it shrinking so I'm hoping chemo took care of the rest.

Doctor is starting me on 12 more weeks of chemo starting Wednesday but being more aggressive. Still getting Hercepton and a new "improved" Taxol. They are doubling the dosage of the Taxol hoping it will have more effect on the hard tissue lesions - the bones. Thankfully I have tolerated the 16 weeks of chemo with no side effects and am confident this new aggressive approach will be the same. MIND OVER MATTER!!! If you don't think you will be sick you won't!!!

After hearing the news I asked the doctor if I should leave feeling good or not. She said in her opinion we are going the right way and although we wanted to hear good news all around, she feels good about the progress we have made. So if she feels good - I feel good!

Last weekends golf outing was a huge success. We had 115 participants in golf and those who just came for dinner. The weather turned out great since we were worried about the rain in the forecast. I had a great group of volunteers and we couldn't have done it without them. I should have the final numbers this weekend but I'm guessing we raised over $10k benefiting Breast Cancer Network of Strength.

Thanks again for listening to me ramble on. As soon as I hear something I'll let you know. Think positive thoughts with me so I can get through this chemo on Wednesday.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Sorry for not posting earlier but its been a busy week.

I have to admit that starting last weekend I was in somewhat of a depressed mood. After 15 chemo treatments I knew that the testing to see if it was working was coming up and to be honest with you I didn't want to know. As long as I kept going back and forth each week for treatments I could stay within my little world and keep things somewhat normal. The idea of coming back to reality has me a little scared so all week I was on edge. Chemo on Wednesday went as planned and nothing out of the ordinary to report. I did see the doctor and she had me set up for an ECHO (to make sure the chemo hasn't damaged my heart), CAT Scan and Bone Scan all at the end of last week.

I was at the hospital almost all day on Friday mostly waiting (for a bone scan you get injected with a radioactive material and then have to wait 3 hours for it to go through your body). All tests were completed and now its a waiting game until Wednesday. I hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Not more that I could do - its not in my hands. Once the results are in the doctor will decide to continue current treatments, give me a break or change what they are giving me. I'll keep you posted as I hear anything.

Saturday's Golf Outing to raise money for Breast Cancer Network of Strength kept my mind off things as we had 115 participate in golf and dinner activities. It turned out to be a great day and I think everyone had fun. Our goal was to raise over $10,000 this year and I think we may be close. This was our 7th year and we have already raised over $35,000 through golf, raffles, hole sponsors and silent auctions. We also had many other golfers on the course not with our group giving donations. It seems like everyone knows someone who has been touched by BC. I can't thank our volunteers and participants enough for making this a great day.

So I wait until Wednesday to see how this journey continues. Until then.....thanks for all your love and support.

Friday, August 13

Well this week started good but ended sad. Let me explain.

Tuesday went for my weekly blood test. Thank God D was back and ready with the needle. His new nickname is "One Stick D"! As usual the the Lab's came back Wednesday morning very good (Platelets 350 and White at 7). Not bad for 14 weeks of chemo!!!

I was ready for the Wednesday having hydrated myself for 3 days. I was ready to float away from all the water I had consumed. This week I had Angel for a nurse and although she had gotten my IV in one time, after she heard about last week she didn't want to take a chance. So who does she call - Roxanne. Now Roxy is our favorite nurse but after last week I wasn't very confident - but she was. Well, she did a great job. One stick and she was in. Between hydrating and keeping my arm warm my veins didn't go into hiding. We have learned (and it only took 14 weeks) that the chemo room is so cold that even Mark's bulging veins go into hiding. So the first thing I did was grab a blanket and keep the arm warm.

Treatment was uneventful except I have developed restless legs (which I think is being caused by the Benedryl) which makes relaxing difficult. Wednesday was worse then it has been in the past. Need to talk to doc if this is going to continue.

Because you never get in at your appt time and the time it takes to get the IV in (most of the time I think is due to them not wanting to do it and waiting until they know it has to be done) I'm usually one of the last out (around 6:30PM). Well three of us were left in the room - but only two of us walked out. Yep, one of the patients went into cardiac arrest during chemo, coded and died right there. The nurses pulled the drape around us but that doesn't make it sound proof as we got a step by step of the action. As you could imagine the staff was a little freaked out. I don't think this is a regular occurrence (at least I hope not). I did talk to my girlfriend Vicki who is a doc on staff the next day and found out she was actuality there at the code.

I have an appointment next week after chemo with my doc. I'm guessing she will send me for a CAT scan to see if this stuff is working. I'll let you all know as I will need super duper energy and positive thinking so that I get some good results.

Our 7th Annual golf outing is next week and I think it will be one of our biggest and most profitable to date. A lot of sponsor checks pouring in thanks to all by friends, family and business associates. It's going to be a long day but I have many volunteers this year who are helping.

So it was a great week for me - not so good for Walt, may he rest in peace. Until next week thanks for all your love and support.

Friday, August 6

Well this was not a stellar week when it came to needles. Tuesday morning I show up for my weekly blood test to find that my super blood sucker D was called for jury duty! Nurse Aurora (yes - like the princess) to the rescue!! Didn't hurt but did take 2 sticks to get the job done!

On to Wednesday and chemo. Before I forget the hot dog routine does continue with our informal picnic before we go up to Infusion. Anyway, we got Roxanne (our favorite nurse) again this week. Since last week she did such a good job of getting the IV in I wasn't feeling panicked at all. Unfortunately after 2 tries she had to call in reinforcements! Stage left Nurse N arrived to safe the day - NOT! At one time I had two IV needle in me because she was afraid I'd bleed out if she removed them. The third time she fianlly was able to get it in (so we thought). So banaged up and ready to start. Roxanne comes back and starts the Benydril IV. So as I'm waiting to go into LaLa Land I feel something wet on my arm. Yep - my IV was leaking. So Roxanne runs to the rescue and carefully unwraps everyting and repostions the needle without having to take it out. I have to tell you this is the first time I had tears in my eyes and ready to loose it. NOT because it hurt because between you and me it wsan't bad. It was the fear of them sending me home and not being able to give me the treatment. It's also the first time I saw Mark really looking like he was going to loose it although I must say he sat right there letting me squeeze the hell out of this hand. Now, I have to also say that I do not blame the nurses as I know both are very good at their jobs. It's just my veins and all the abuse from chemo (it does eat up your veins because its so caustic) between 7 years ago when I went through this and now. I have been asked why I just won't get a port. Here's the facts. I have had two very close people in my life who had one put in and die shortly afterward. It's a mental thing.

So you think the story ends here. If you know me you know nothing is ever that simple. So we are done with chemo (very late since my appt was 3PM and they didn't even get the IV in until 4:30PM) and waiting for the valet to bring the car when I feel something wet on my arm. I look down and the bandage is soaked with blood and now dripping down my arm. Well, there was NO WAY I was going back into the hospital. So I covered it so Mark didn't see and once we got in the car I grabbed the towel I keep in there and wrapped it around my arm and applied pressure. I figured there were a lot of hospitals between there and home in case something major happened. Luckily this did the trick and I didn't bleed out!!!

On a brighter note - Thursday was a fantastic day!!! Had dinner with my cousin Carol and it was a wonderful evening. Feeling good today and hope it lasts.

Keep your fingers crossed next week will be less exciting and more routine. Until then.....

Monday, August 2

Why are Monday's so bad???? You would think with resting over the weekend by Monday I'd be full of energy but it's probably the worst day of the week.

Last weeks chemo went as planned - nothing really exciting to report. It's just a waiting game right now until they take a CAT scan to see if this stuff is working. Not quite sure when they will schedule it for but hopefully I'll know this week. So far my chemo schedule runs through the end of the month.

I've been putting a lot of energy into this years golf outing which is Aug 21. We already have 90 golfers and 14 just coming for dinner. Usually we get a big push at the last two weeks so I'm expecting that we will have a large crowd this year. I've already gotten over $3000 in hole sponsors, 20 silent auction items and many raffle prizes donated. All our volunteers are in place (thanks) and have their assignments. I of course am not playing this year (but I hadn't planned on it after last years and how big it has gotten) so I'll have time to visit. I just need to pace myself since I'm usually exhausted by the end of the day at the past events.

The last and hardest part before the outing is going to my dad's and having to let him know what has been going over the last 4 months. I've kept it from him since he has so much going on and didn't want to worry him. However, his showing up and seeing me wouldn't work so I need to find time to get over to him. Not going to be fun on my end.

Last week I shared with you that I was angry. This week I'm just MAD! Not not crazy mad (although I'm sure the juries out on that one), just mad when I see people in cars or walking down the street smoking (sorry to my smoking friends). It just drive me nuts to see. Here I am fighting for my life (and have never smoked) while they just tempt fate. I just wish they could spend one afternoon in Infusion Therapy (fancy words for chemo center) and see everyone sitting there hooked up to toxic chemicals fighting to stay alive. Maybe that should be the next treatment for those wanting to quit smoking. Just one chemo treatment should do it! Sorry for getting on the soap box but just think about it!

Until next week.......

Thursday, July 22

Another week down. Seems like Wednesdays come way too fast. Tuesday's blood test was again a home run. What would I do without my super dupper blood taker D (that's actually what they call him). He never misses (hope I didn't jinx us). Even at 7:15AM he comes in with a smile!!! I would feel more confident on Wednesdays if he could put in my IV!

I didn't take any chances this week and carried a copy of the LAB and handed it to them when I checked in on Wednesday. Of course I got a look like "whats this" but too bad. Nurse Brigit (who I had when I had my fever) was on deck once again. What a super personality. After searching for a vein she decided to call in reinforcements instead of trying and missing (in my opinion a trait of a good nurse knowing her limitations). She made a good choice because the IV went in on one try. Rest of the afternoon was uneventful except that I notices that I am getting restless legs during the treatment. Not sure if its the recliner or the drugs. I do have this problem sitting on planes lately so I need to find out more info. I also noticed that as good as the "happy" drugs they give me that knock me out are - the after math is like having a hangover. Not sure if they are worth it.

On a bummer note - I have a new chemo schedule taking me out through the end of August.

Weekend was OK. I admit I went through an ANGRY stage on Sunday. I guess it was a little bit of feeling sorry for myself. I still am having trouble getting my arms around this whole situation. It's just frustrating because there was nothing I could do to prevent it - no pill I forgot to take, no doctors appointment I missed. To add to the frustration everything is out of my control. I go to chemo - I take the drugs, etc. but it doesn't mean its going to work. So I'm ANGRY!

Until next week or something worth talking about happens. Thanks for listening.

Friday, July 16

It's been a crazy week. Most of the weekend was spent resting and getting my energy level up. By Tuesday I was really feeling the effects of the chemo wearing off. By Wednesday (chemo day) I was tired and anxious. Got to the hospital at 1PM and checked in. At 2:30 I finally went up to see if they had forgotten about me and was told they were still waiting for my LAB's. Good thing they didn't take my blood pressure at that moment as I explained they had my LAB's since 7:30AM that morning when they were faxed (and emailed) to them!!! Good thing I carried a copy with me and handed it to them. So on to chemo and of all nurses I got Nurse "K" which if you remember from my 2nd chemo was the one who had a hard time getting in my IV and through her hands up and announced in a loud voice that I didn't want her to put my IV in. My good friend and buddy (Dr) Vicki was in the chemo room. We had just had dinner the Friday before and I was telling her about this nurse who "hated me" and gave me the evil eye whenever she saw me. Vicki wasn't sure who I meant so I called her over and said "you know that nurse we were talking about??? She about to stick a BIG needle in my arm so you"ll know who I'm talking about"! I have to admit Nurse "K" played it pretty cool as I know she knew who I was and said "I don't think I've ever had you before". Of course I also played it pretty cool and said "Yes, I think it was my 2nd treatment". As I told Mark, everyone deserves a 2nd chance and I proceeded to let her put in my IV. To her credit she did get it in with a little digging around but it was in!!! After that we were best buddies.

Since I received both chemo's on Wednesday (no fever) Thursday was a GREAT day full of energy!!! I really felt like my old self and wished every day could be as good. Today I'm also feeling pretty good and hope it lasts through the weekend.

Since I was only able to get the one chemo last week it pushes out my schedule to the first week of August before they will take another scan to see if this stuff is working. I'll keep you advised of when to cross your fingers!!!

Have a great week and thanks again for all your support!!!

Wednesday, July 7

Bummer day! Was feeling really good this morning. In fact the best I've felt on a Wednesday. My blood work up came back fine. Got to the hospital and turns out I was running fever (102) and my heart rate was up. So I could only have Hercepton - no Taxol. Also took 3 different nurses to get the IV on place. Had to have a chest x-ray and on an antibiotic (z-pack). Please send me positive energy that it's something minor. It just seems like it's something different every week. Good news is that my leg/ankle has stopped swelling thanks to Massage Therapist and great friend Karen who was able to work her magic over the weekend.

I have so many friends and family who have been great supporters over the last couple of month. You have no idea what your positive words have helped me especially on bad days. I need to thank my great friends and supporters at Designcraft who have always supported my endeavours over the last several years. They have gone above and beyond to help me get through this. Thanks to my great friend Larry (and Kelley) - your concern and kind words mean more then you know. You also make me laugh when I need it! Eric who has treated me like nothing has changed - you keep me focused. Dan who I know is concerned with my health and I know watches over me to make sure I don't over due it - plus you know when to smile and pick up my day. My ANGELS - Kelly. Emily and Kathy who give me positive reinforcement and a whole lot of love. Jason - my good friend and buddy who shaved his head to match mine. Your the best! And of course everyone else who always have a kind word and smile. I love you all.

UPDATE - Just got a call from the doctor as I write this. Both x-ray and urinalysis came back fire so they have no idea what is spiking my temperature. Instruction are to take the antibiotics and monitor my temp. Thanks God!

As soon as I get any more info I'll let you know!

Thursday, July 1

It's been a strange week full of ups and downs. OK - I have a confession to make. As much as I want to believe I'm "super women" even I have bad days and Friday was one of the worst. Worked all day and felt OK but not myself. For those of you who have seen me in the last few weeks you know that my hair was cut very short but still OK without covering. Well the past week it was falling out so much I was afraid I was clogging my drains plus the back was all patchy so it was time to get it all off. This was not a big deal since I've gone through it before and to tell the truth it just makes getting ready in the morning faster. Next stop Walgreen's to pick up supplied for my elbow. So I'm in Walgreen's and I feel something wet on my arm and wondering what it was. Well the infection in my elbow decided it was time to drain. When I got home I looked at it and held it over the sink and I've never seen anything drain like this. I won't go into it but I couldn't believe there was that much inside my arm. I also went through this exercise Saturday and Sunday until the majority of the infection was out and I'm now just watching and keeping it clean (although the doc has me on another antibiotic to make sure we get it 100%). So now it Friday evening and for some strange reason I get it into my head that if I go to sleep Friday night I wasn't going to wake up Saturday morning!!! A major PANIC ATTACK! Now I've never had one before but from what my friends have described I'm sure that is what it was. Poor Mark - he didn't know what to do. Believe me when I tell you it was very real. I'm trying to get things in order that needed to be done (just in case) but now I'm am soooo tired and afraid to go to sleep. As you could imagine I didn't get much rest that night but thankfully did get up around 5AM. Since then I did read the side effects on the LUPRIN antibiotic I was taking and saw one was "mood or mental changes". Hmmmmm Rest of the weekend was resting and reading. Didn't get much done.

Tuesday's blood test went like clockwork with my super duper sticker only having to stick me once!!!

Wednesday I woke up feeling so tired and had a bad headache. Because of my left elbow with the infection and my right shoulder with the muscle pull I'm only able to sleep in one position and my neck gets all sore creating a headache. It's not until I get up for a few hours that it feels better and my headache goes away. So I decided it was time to work out of the house for the morning since I needed to leave by noon to go to chemo.

Chemo went well. I had Nurse Angel (yes - that's her name) and decided anyone named Angel had to be good so I let her put in my IV. She had me a little nervous at first has she tapped away and was pushing and prodding. Probably took about 5 minutes until she was confident she had a vein. Well she did great and got it in in one try -Thank God!!! Also had Zometa which is a bone strengthener added to my cocktail of drugs so we were there until 6:30. But I felt great walking out and even better today!!! I wish this would last all week. I decided Thursday are the BEST day of the week!!!

I hope you all have a safe and restful 4th of July!!! Until next week thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

It's been an interesting week with both ups and downs. On Saturday evening I noticed my elbow was sore and swollen. Turns out one of the blisters that broke and was open was infected. Knowing that if I called the Doctor she would have put me in the hospital with an IV of antibiotics and I had every important project I promised someone I would do first thing Monday morning I decided to play Dr. Doreen (OK not one of smartest moves). So between soaking in peroxide and hot and cold compresses by Sunday night it looked pretty good. On Wednesday I showed the Doctor who was concerned because it was warm. She wanted me to see a surgeon about lancing it (you got to be kidding - like I don't have enough going on). Did I mention it was my left arm where all my IV's have to be (for those of you who do not know i has lymph nodes taken out 7 years ago with my first cancer and I can't have blood draws, IV's or blood pressure on the right side). Saw thr surgeon who decided to put me on 500mg of Luprin 3x a day which is suppose to be super strong for a week and re-evaluate (thank you).

The weekend was spent mostly keeping my feet up and reading. I've been having trouble with my ankles and calves swelling (which if I could play doctor I think is in part to the amount of water they want me to drink) and I'm on a mission to keep them down.

Tuesday which I expected to be a BAD day turned out not to be so bad. More energy then last week so I guess nothing is set in stone with this. Had my weekly blood test and my super duper blood taker did a fantastic job with one stick!!! A great day!!!

Wednesday was chemo day. Because the weather was bad the Hot Dog cart wasn't out (BUMMER). Ended up in the hospital at Au Bon Pain for soup and sandwich which considering nothing tastes right didn't matter. On to chemo and nurse M who sorry to say didn't exude confidence. So much that I refused having her put in my IV. I felt bad but if you have had as many misses as I have had and as many times that I am stuck a week you would too. Because of the infection in my elbow chemo started late. They did start giving me the pre-meds and YES once again my Doctor showed up AFTER they gave me the Benydryl and Dexa-somthing so I my responses weren't as stellar as usual. Then she looks at my face and was concerned that I had a rash. I tried to explain that I was positive it was due to my moisturizer and that i had stopped using it that morning and already I saw a difference. Wasn't sure she bought it but I emailed her today that after 2 days of not using it I had no more breakouts and the ones I had were already drying up. It actually wasn't a rash but little white heads which is why I suspected the moisturizer.

Today was a GREAT day full of energy. I wish every day felt like this but I'll take them as they come.

So until next week I thank you all for you prayers and support. You are all helping me get through this!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Well this week started with some swelling and a headache but after further investigation turned out to be fluid build up and nothing serious!

Wednesday was chemo day and I have to admit that Hot Dog just didn't taste the same. Everything is getting a nasty metallic taste. My mouth has a constant metal taste and I've been popping tic-tacs to keep it away. Funny - the first time I went through chemo I couldn't even brush my teeth with mint toothpaste or drink coffee. This time there is no problem with both. The things that bother me now are beer, WINE (OH NO) and chocolate (which isn't a bad thing since I don't really like it all that much).

Chemo was uneventful again. The nurse was able to get the needle in with one try. This is a big deal since most take two tries and I'm beginning to look like a junky! This week they put me in a room with a bed which was terrible. I know they thought they were doing me a favor but I just couldn't get comfy. I'm going to have to request a recliner in the future. Best part again was the pre-drugs (Benedryl and dexa-???) which put me out for a nice 3 hour nap.

Here's the strange thing which has everyone wondering - By Wednesday I could hardly walk into the hospital between fatigue and my hip hurting. AFTER the treatment I literally skipped out I felt so good. Even yesterday it was a GREAT day and I was full of energy. Got a lot done!!! For those of you who REALLY know me this shouldn't be a surprise since I've always been, well, different. But I could tell it has the Doc's, nurses, etc stumped since I have no nausea or otherwise other side effects. So my good days are Wednesday after chemo through Monday afternoon. Then I start the chemo wearing off and Tuesday is really a BAD day until after chemo Wednesday. As long as I have this info it helps me plan my weeks.

Well, friends, nothing more to share. Just wanted to assure you that I am doing well and coping. I appreciate all your well wishes and prayers. With all of you I WILL get through this. Until next week I wish you all good health and happiness.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Finally time to post. Sorry for the long delay.

Chemo Wednesday started as usual with the famous hot dog lunch. Mark came with since I was getting full treatment and wasn't sure how I'd feel afterward. Two sticks to get the needle in but to be honest I'm getting use to it. I just want it in and secure so we can get this over with.

With the full treatment they give meds before to counteract any reactions i.e. anti-nausea and allergy meds. (Good thing Mark did come with because after the meds I was tired.) WOW - love that Benedryl and Dexa-something!!!! After they get in you don't care what happens! Of course it wasn't 20 minutes into the treatment my Doc shows up to talk - not still sure what we talked about and agreed to. Best part is that I finally slept for almost 3 hours!!! Best sleep I've had in 6 weeks.

Leaving the hospital approx 6PM we decided to go to my fave restaurant - VOLARE for dinner instead of fighting the traffic. Had a great meal and got out just as those Blackhawks started playing. Home for a shower and lay on the sofa watching the game. Even slept most of the night and didn't get up until 5AM.

The next day I felt better then I did in a long time. Had a lot of energy and no sign of nausea. I have to admit by the afternoon I was dragging and to make things worse almost 2 hours to get home due to construction. Good friend Karen came over for company and we ended up getting a quick bite and she took me grocery shopping. By the time I got home I was completely wiped so on to bed.

Today was an up and down day. Started again with energy but by noon both my shoulder and hip were killing me and I was having trouble walking. By 3:30 I had to admit it was time to call it a day. Then the LIGHT BULB went off - shoulder and hip was muscle pulls. Maybe ADVIL would work. So swallowed a few when I got home and but my feet up for an hour. DAHHHHH! I felt back to normal with hardly a pain! Never said I was a brain surgeon!

Dinner tonight with good friend (Dr)Vicki was had been my advocate at the hospital and clearing the way for me to make sure everything runs smoothly. Had a great time gossiping and catching up. Total relaxing evening.

Now on to the weekend where I hope to be able to put up and feet and veg.

Hope I didn't bore you too much. Have a great weekend and see ya next week.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Blood test this morning went off without a hitch! Thanks again to Cindy for helping to get this happen!!! Should be all ready for tomorrows chemo treatment.

Can I get a little off subject for a minute???? I'd like to talk about Toilet Paper! Is it me, or has the quality of toilet paper gone downhill? I mean first they take away our colors - but now it seems it disintegrates upon use! I have always used SCOTT (due to mom) all my life. Now as I mentioned with the steroids I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Without being too graphic, by the end of the day I could paper a wall with whats left - and I PAT!!!! Anyone have a recommendation on a better paper???? Sorry but I needed to get that off my mind!

Thanks again for listening. Tomorrows treatment will be a little rougher so think of me!

Monday, June 7,2010

Friday was my last brain radiation treatment. I'm so happy not to have to be at the hospital at 6AM! At the end of the session my tech ceremoniously presented me with my MASK to take home as a souvenir! They can't kid me - its the hospitals way of getting rid of it without creating more garbage. Think I'll stick some flowers in it and hang it on the wall -NOT!!! Although it does make a good conversation piece.

After the session back to Nurse Maria who suddenly lost her attitude. While she was taking down some info she says "do you work here"? My reply, "No, but I have many friends who are Doctors on staff". Hmmmmmmm......... As she was finishing she spots my Doctor walking down the hall and yells out "Don't go too far, I'm almost done". Record time I was in and out!
Solidifies - It's not what you know but WHO you know!!!!

All and all feeling pretty good. Spent the weekend resting and trying to keep my feet up. Still having problems will ankle and foot swelling. Also feeling a lot of twinges in the area the cancer is so I'm not sure to worry or if it's the chemo. Steroids are taking there toll on my face and I look like a cave women with round face and bloated features. I hate looking in the mirror!!!

Tomorrow thanks to sister-in-law Cindy and friend Dr. Lisa Abrams I'll start my Tuesday morning blood test at 7:30 in Deerfield to save having to be at the hospital 2 hours early on Wednesday (more time to work). Wednesday starts full chemo regiment which makes me happy. Please send me positive energy on Wednesday afternoon that this duo treatment of Hercepton and Taxol is the cocktail I need to melt this cancer away!

Otherwise I feel fine, working full days and resting on weekends and evenings.

More later in the week. Love you all!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

HOT DOG! - Yes, the tradition continued yesterday with my pre-chemo hot dog. Have to get them while I can taste them.

Chemo was relatively routine. I was lucky to get Nurse Diane who is able to get my IV in with one try. Still only getting the Hercepton until next week when I'm back to full regiment. They threw me a curve ball yesterday and as an added bonus also added a bag of bone strenghtener (the chemo I'm on is very destructive to bones so one treatment a month). I had this same IV back in September and the next day I felt like I was hit by a MACK truck. So all day today I was waiting - and so far so good. Seems like my body may be giving me a break! Good friend (Dr) Vicki Villaflor dropped by to sit with me for a while as we gossiped about the weekend. We are "marking the territory like cat" and its working. Once the staff saw it I was getting covered with blankets, being brought drinks, etc. Kind of sad you need pull rank.

Tomorrow is my LAST radiation treatment!!! It will be good not having to be at the hospital 3 times a week. So next week (keep your fingers crossed) I will be there ONLY on Wednesdays. I was also able to resolve having to be at the hospital 2 hours before chemo because I need to have blood drawn (Sorry - but I still cannot believe they make people sit for two hour for their inefficiencies). BIG THANKS to my sister-in-law Cindy and friend (Dr) Lisa Abrams and the blessing of my doctor I will have my blood drawn on Tuesday mornings at Cindy/Lisa's Glenview office where they will have it analyzed and fax the results to my doctor for my Wednesday chemo treatment. This will allow me to work until 1:00 before I head to the hospital for my 3 PM appointment. More work for me and less stress for me. WIN-WIN situation in my book.

So next week starts a new journey. Thanks again for all your thoughts, prayers and messages. I keep everyone and read them often for strength,

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I hope you all had as great as a weekend as I did. It was good to just relax and not worry about anything.

Started the morning with the 4th radiation treatment to the brain. One more on Friday so I'm excited to get this part out of the way and concentrate on the chemo treatments. They said that the radiation would fatigue me but the be truthful I think its getting up at 4AM, driving to the hospital and then to work. That's the tiring part for me!

I finally figured out how to down load the photos of what I look like getting the treatments. The mask they put on is so tight my face looks like a waffle when its taken off. Good thing I don't have claustrophobia because you can't move a hair once the put you in this contraption.

Down to 2 steroids a day which is a good thing. Hopefully I'll have a better sleep pattern and not be so hungry all the time.

Speaking of STEROIDS - let's talk! If you know anyone who is on them, were on them or going on them let me give you a 5 minute education! First of all the reason I'm on is to reduce the swelling caused my the treatments. From what I understand swelling/fluid and radiation are not a good mix when radiating your brain (SPLAT if you know what I mean). Taking these things are nasty.

Here's what happens (at least to me).

1. Hungry all the time. I usually give most of the dinner to Mark when we're at a restaurant. Now I'm looking at his plate!!!

2. Constant having to go to the bathroom. Never knew I had so much liquid in me. Besides not sleeping I'm up every hour on the hour ruining to the bathroom!!!

3. Poor sleep pattern. Too wired to sleep all night through.

AND THE WORST........

4. MEAN DOREEN comes out. Seriously, about 10 minutes after taking one (when I was on 4x day) I feel my whole personalty change to the dark side. Everything bothers you from the women talking too loud at the next table to Mark eating those french fries so fast. You know its not right but all you want to do is lash out and tell someone off. Thankfully I have a strong personality so I was able to control the urges, but I can see how some people go off the deep edge and actually hurt someone else. I know they wouldn't be prescribed if not necessary but please keep a close watch on the person to make sure they do not hurt themselves or anyone else!

Tomorrow is another chemo treatment. My last of just Hercepton - they add Taxol next week.

Thanks again to all of you for all the energy you have been sending me. I love you all!

Thursday, May 26, 2010

Very tired today. Could be chemo but most likely its because I'm still not sleeping.

I wanted to let you know that there is a bright side to chemo day! I valet park the car at the front entrance (it's actually a great deal. I pre-bought stickers and charm the Mexican Valets with my Spanish so they only have me use 1 sticker which is $5 plus tip) and right there at lunch time is a HUGE Vienna Hot Dog Stand. So before I go in I get my Chicago Dog, which for those who do not live here is a huge steamed hot dog on a steamed bun and then they put on mustard, onion, picklelilly, tomato, sport peppers and celery salt. Heaven on a bun! So until I get the second chemo and my tastes go bad I'm enjoying it!!!!

Third Radiation treatment tomorrow so its an early start to the day. I have pictures of me on the table in my "mask" and as soon as I figure out how to download it the the site I will.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sorry for not writing sooner but didn't want to bore you with a lot of dribble.

Radiation yesterday went well despite being there at 5:45AM, Did find out that "technically" the doctor does have to sign off on you once a week. Since my Doctor is on vacation this week another Doctor was sent in her place. Surprise, Surprise.....he showed up approx 3 minutes after I entered the room (word must have gotten around).

Today was chemo day. Won't bore you with the hours wasted just waiting. Treatment went well although I'm still only getting one of the chemo's until radiation is complete. (Thanks Emily for the great kitty pictures you emailed me to keep me smiling).

I did stop by to see my Doctor. I've been a little concerned this week and wanted to get her input. When I first was told about the less ions in the spine and liver a light went off - So that's what that is - not a pull! After the first full treatment I experienced a lot of activity in the areas and then nothing ( feeling great). After last weeks treatment I felt nothing (but still feeling great). Yesterday all of a sudden I am feeling the same old aches again in those areas and am concerned that since I'm only get part of the treatments that I'm going backwards instead of froward. She seems to think (I'm nuts - no not really) that if may have something to do with the steroids (they are starting to ween me down due to my insistence and not wanting to end up America's Most Wanted) and taking care of the brain lesion is number one priority. Kind of what I expected but wanted a warm fuzzy. So I put in in the back of my mind and continue to go fore ward.

Funny side note - There's a nurse practitioner who I talked to before the Doctor who does a pre-screen. I have talked to her before and she thinks I should talk to their Psychologist so I don't bottle everything inside. WHAT - is she NUTS. Am I the type to go see a shrink???? Just another day at the hospital.

Next adventure Friday and Radiation.

Thanks for letting me share. Love you all.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Sorry for the lack of communication but Friday was a crazy frustrating day and I needed to step back and review the details before reporting. (Quite adult and not like me).

Morning started at 5:45AM at the hospital. Dressed in my "high fashion" gown I was lead into the "Radiation Room". Since this was my first treatment and they finished my mask there was still some marking, measuring and films to take before I was ready. Approximately 40 minutes it was all done with approx 10 minutes of that time having a high dosage radiation beam pointing at my brain. Off the table and to Nurse "M" for vitals, etc. Seems Nurse "M" isn't a "Morning Person" and like to treat patients like mental midgets with no common sense. Next to the resident who basically asked if I had any questions - "No, not really". It's now about 7:25AM and still need to see the Doctor who (allegedly) has been paged. Waiting, waiting, waiting.....all the while knowing I needed to be in Lake Zurich for a meeting. Well, let's blame it on the STEROIDS! At 8:05AM (I gave 40 minutes) I calmly collected myself, opened the door and stepped towards to elevator where the Resident see me and says "maybe the doctor didn't get my page " (maybe you forgot to send one!). I calmly looked at her and said "she knows my number, if you wants to talk to me have her call" as I entered the elevator and left.

So a 2 hour drive to get to my meeting I decide to stop for gas before arriving. As I enter the gas station I see a car backing out of a space so I wait until they are out so I can pull in. As the car backs up and sees me the next thing I know an 80+ year old man give me the finger! DAY COMPLETE!!!!

One side note to my crazy day - as I sat in the meeting we were being shown a new technology of data being transmitted on a piece of glass via LED's. etc. Think of the TV show CHUCK and how things flicker through his head. The next thing I know is I'm looking around the room and all I could see is the Microsoft symbol in full color (red, yellow, blue green) with a bright flashing light in the middle floating around the room. Almost like a "floater" in living color. Now it's in the middle of one of the guys face - somethings happening folks. I quickly excuse myself and leave the meeting room calling for assistance where friend Kelly decides what I need is a hug. Well, as soon as I looked at her dark hair it disappears. Craziest thing I ever saw. Hopefully when I talk to the doctor I'll have more to report but my guess is between the treatment and the rapid movement of the data I was being shown my brain went into overload.

Anyway - it was a great restful weekend. Tired, but able to once again relax and ready to start a new week of radiation and chemo treatments.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Wasn't going to post tonight but have a "cute" story to share..... (of course as friends you know I sometime have a warped sense of humor)

Started the morning with a hand full of hair (no big deal). Problem was I was having dinner with my 80 yr old father and he doesn't know any of this. Due to his health issues I feel it's best to keep it from him now until he builds some strength. So all I can think is glue it in with hair gel and hope it holds. I mean he's 80 but he would figure something out with hair missing from my head.

So we meet at Chili's and have a nice dinner. During the night (as usual) he asks about my health and with a STRAIGHT face I say "I'm doing great - haven't felt this great in 2 years"! WHICH IS TRUE! So he starts telling me about his golfing buddy who wasn't looking good and found out had liver cancer. Without missing a beat he looks at me and says, "you know what the doctors say about liver cancer - once you have it it travel through your body and that's it - your dead"! Of course he was thinking of 20 years ago and my mothers situation. So calming look at him and say - "dad, I think medical technology has come a long way since then and there are many treatments to prolong that from happening". All the time inside my head I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Sorry friends - must be the steroids.

Well, early morning tomorrow - brain radiation at 6:30AM. If I don't remember any of you after the first ZAP - well................

Tuesday, May 19, 2010

What a day from hell! Best part was waking up even though due to the steroids and having a lot on my mind I didn't sleep that much during the night.

As of this morning still nothing from the Radiation Oncologist. So off to the hospital for chemo. Let me ask a question - if you don't like people and want to be rude and surely - why work at a hospital??? Ok - I'm not talking about the many dedicated doctors ( a lot of them my friends) and nurses, but the support staff who think they run the place!!! Enough said!

Started out with me finding out that I was only to get Hercepton and not Taxol because my Oncologist was told I was having radiations and you can't have both which will cause brain damage (like I need any more problems). When I said I still wasn't scheduled for radiation my doctor ran right over to the chemo suite to see what was up. She felt bad that she was misinformed but it was too late to add the Taxol so I got 1/2 a treatment (although I was assured the Hercepton was what was more important). Her nurse (thanks Cara) called Radiation right away and the doc called to say they thought I was being informed (another result of a large institution), They still did not have the procedure worked out but I would get a call "soon". Well, it finally came a few hours later and I'm starting Radiation on Fridays and Tuesday at 6:30AM for 3 weeks!!!!!

Well then the fun began. Nurse "K" who was putting in my IV (and not very well) started fishing for a vein. I was very calm until she said "if I'm hurting you tell me to stop" - which I did. Well of course she took it personally and picked up and told the other nurse "she doesn't want me to put in her IV" (NO SHIT)! So another nurse came to the rescue and it a matter of seconds had it up and running.

An hour later (although we were there for 4 hours) the chemo was in and we were OUT OF THERE!

Sorry for all the complaining - just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Now to bed and a better and brighter day tomorrow.

Monday, May 17, 2010

What a great restful weekend. Was able to put about 75% of all this just to LIVE! Bad parts was dinner where everything tastes terrible. Even water tastes like chemicals. The ONLY things that taste normal is CHOCOLATE!!! Of course I'm not a big fan of chocolate but when your hungry and crave taste it will work. That huge piece of 7-layer chocolate cake was the highlight of our anniversary dinner (Mark helped eat it).

Nothing to really report today. Still waiting for the Radiation Oncologist to call after Fridays session to give me the course of treatment. Think after the CAT scan on Friday they couldn't find a brain????? Would explain a lot......... So all I have to look forward to is Wednesday and 2nd chemo treatment.

Still putting in normal work days to keep as normal as possible. Tired when I get home but Mark is being a really big help.

Love to all of you!

Friday, May 14, 2010

What a day! Was out of the house about 5AM to get my day started before I had to be down at the U of C at 1:00PM. Back down to Radiation Oncology where they built a new fixture/mask around my head and shoulders to immobilize my head while they beam radiation into my skull. This one was a lot different from the one they made on Wednesday. This cradles my head in the back and has plastic mesh molded to my face where I can't move a bit. Good thing I'm not claustrophobic because while they are making this and placing wet warm mesh over your face you feel like your being smothered (except for the fact that you are able to breath through your nose). My Radiation Oncologist came in and told me that the "team" including several Physicists studied my last CAT scan and feel this is the best course of treatment for me. Question....with all these Physicists looking at my brain - will that make me smarter???? Downside to today's activities was ANOTHER CAT Scan and two more sticks (OUCH!!!) For someone who hates taking aspirin I look like a junkie.

I'm so fascinated with the hows and whys of what they are doing that I forget I'm the patient (although part of the team). I hope I'm not driving them crazy with all my questions.

I won't have anymore info on when I'll start and how many treatments until Monday. I heard a few rumors today but am waiting until I hear something definitive since things change so quickly.

Well tomorrow is Mark's and my 28th Wedding Anniversary so I'm putting all this in the back of the closet until Monday and try to have a relaxing stressful weekend.

Thanks again for all your well wishes and thoughtful notes. They all mean a lot to me and I do read them especially waiting at the hospital.

Have a great weekend!!!!!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

It was a day of ups and downs. A call from the Radiation Oncologist this morning advised me that they were going to revisit my treatment after viewing the CAT scan taken yesterday. After further review it looks like the tumor is actually on the skull pushing on the brain instead of in the brain pushing into the skull. A small step in the right direction. So instead of radiating the whole brain with low dosage they plan on high dosage aimed right at the tumor to shrink and kill it so it won't spread. So back to the hospital tomorrow for a new simulation and new mask. Of course this was decided in about 5 phone conflicting phone calls that kep't me on edge most of the day.

No side effects from the chemo today. Didn't sleep too well last night but I think was mostly the steroids they have me on which casues insomnia. But I was busy and put in a full day which made me mentally strong. I am noticing my taste going already. Everything is tasting bland.

Special thanks to Kelly and her mom for making these great BC bracelets filled with super powers for myself and my supper support team Kelly, Kathy and Emily. They are beautiful and remind me of how lucky I am to have such fantastic friends. Thanks Emily for the beautiful plant!

Hopefully tomorrow will be a less stressful day. Thanks again to all my friends and family for your love and support. Your the best and I love you all.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

What another crazy day! Started in Radiation Oncology at 10AM for another two hours while they scanned my brain and built a mask to keep my head in place so they ONLY radiate the effected area and not fry the rest of my brain. I'm going to try to get a picture of it - I'm thinking Jason and the hockey mask.

Next stop Infusion Therapy (another fancy word for Chemotherapy). Over 5 hours of sitting in a recliner while they pumped toxic chemicals through my veins! So far so good. Both chemo drugs can have alergic reactions so they watch closely to make sure things go well - which it did. First drug they give you is Benydril and something else for alergic reactions. Kind of makes you sleepy for the first hour. They have TV's in the chemo suites so we wathced/listened to the Cubs game which they won! I was finaly finished around 5:30 PM and it was useless to try to make our way home due to the traffic so we stopped at Carmichael's in the West Loop for dinner. I figure if I'm going to vommit anything up it might as well be something worthwhile!

I'd like to thank all my friends who sent me emails filled with kind words and promises of thoughts and prayers. I recieved wishes from all over the world and read most of them during chemo. It kep't me uplifted and strong. Special thanks to Kathy and her boys who made me cards which I kept next to me and focused on the great drawings during the day.

Mark has been great these past few weeks driving me back and forth and sitting for hours waiting for me. He's been a trooper and I worry about how this is affecting him. I want to get our lives back to normal as quickly as possible so we can move forward. I hope he knows how much I love him and appreciate his hugs, thouches and tears.

The hardest part of this whole ordeal has been telling my family and friends. I am so blessed with all of you and know through your strength I will make it through this.

Tomorrow I start my first of 15 radiation treatments. Since I've gone through this before I'm pretty much know what to expect.

Oh - I'm also going bald in the next weeks or so just in time for summer. I hear it's very "in" this season!!!!

On to bed to get ready for another day. Thanks you friends for being there for me. I love you all!!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

What an exhausting day at the hospital. Met with two Radiation Oncologists to review Brain MRI and treatment. After two crueling hours of questions and examination it was decided that I would have 3 weeks of radiation to shrink/stop growth of lesion as well as to prevent others from growing. They were very happy with my present condition since I feel great and have no pain that I should not have any problems. They did give me the usual info on side effects including short time memory loss. I have news for them - that went a long time ago! Now where was I??? Because they took so much time with me they didn't have time to do the "simualtion" which for you rookies is how they make you and decide how to position you so the radiation beam only hits its target. So I have to go back tomorrow so they can get the info needed and they can measure me for a "mask" which is put on to hold my head in place preventing any moving (sounds like an old horror film).

From there it was up to Chemo only to be found they needed more blood. So off to the lab where they searched for another place to stick a needle..... Back to chemo to meet with Joan who is the coordinator/advocate to make sure the patients are comforable, informed, etc. That's when we were infomred by the Head Chemo Nurse that it was too late to start and yes, I would have to come back tomorrow.....

So back home to rest and get ready for yet another day of fun tomorrow.

Monday, May 10, 2010

So here I go.... You may wonder why I'm starting this blog. It's really for two reasons. First to keep my family and friends informed of what's going on. There's just too many of you to keep updated - sorry. Second is therapy. I'm hoping that by writing about my days, treatments, thoughts, etc it will help me get a handle on this and keep me positive and full of fight.



This all started in March when I ended up n the ER with beathing problems and was diagnosed with pleurisy. In the CAT scan they found a few nodules and enlarged lympth nodes. Hoping it was due to the infection they waited a few weeks and repeated the CAT scan. No such luck! They found lesions (new word for tumors) in my lung area, liver and bones. So two weeks of tests (liver biopsy, PET, ECHO, MRI) showed I also have a bone lesion pressing on my brain. I had hoped to qualify for a Clinical Study showing good results but due to the new development they want to start radiation on my head right away. Tomorrow I will start chemo (hercepton and taxol) along with radiation.



So wish me luck and keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I begin this journey.